Even when both partners are willing to be amicable and civilized when deciding to break up a marriage, divorce is still incredibly overwhelming, stressful, and challenging in various ways. Because your main goals will be to protect your children, yourself, and your finances while going through a divorce, we have compiled a list of steps to help you understand what to expect from the process of a divorce when you have children.
Get Professional Advice
First, your priority should be to gather professional advice about your situation. Every divorce is divorce, just as every relationship is different. You will need professional advice from a divorce attorney, Salem, Oregon, or an attorney in your area. As a divorce attorney, you will advise when you should serve the papers and help you understand your marriage contract specifics. While a divorce attorney will assist you every step of the way, avoiding the assistance of a lawyer may put your financial wellbeing as well as your guardianship of your children and visitation schedules in jeopardy. Even if you feel your partner is willing to part ways in a civilized manner, a lawyer is still absolutely essential.
Consult A Family Psychologist
Consulting a family psychologist is often not essential, although the consultations can reward you with essential findings that could benefit your divorce process. Of course, there are specific reasons you are seeking a divorce. There are instances where a family psychologist can protect your child from an abusive spouse and others where parents can hear that their child is handling the divorce well. With that said, no harm can come from relying on a psychologist to help your family through the divorce. Younger children can benefit from play therapy sessions over a recommended period of time.
Communicate With Caution
Things you say and even text can impact your divorce process, which is why you should always communicate with your partner while practicing caution. In the event of a messy divorce where tempers are raised continuously, and harsh words are thrown around, it is best to communicate with your partner with your divorce attorney’s help regarding proceedings of the divorce and their rights, or lack thereof, to see their children. You can use your attorney as a mediator to communicate with your partner if communication is otherwise not straightforward.
Preparing Your Children
Your children need to know why you and your partner are no longer thriving in your relationship, as children tend to own the blame for divorce if they aren’t told otherwise. Instead of assuming your children have witnessed your relationship troubles, you should explain the divorce to your children. It is also best to avoid sugar-coating any issues that could be misunderstood as a result. For example, if you are divorcing your spouse due to violence against you, your best interest is to protect your children from potential abuse, in which case your children have a right to know that their parent is a potential danger. If you have difficulty outlining your divorce reasons to your children, it is wise to consult the family psychologist then to help you find the right words and ways to explain the situation as it is rather than how you want it to be.