Going through a divorce isn’t easy. It can turn your life upside down. You may find yourself living alone after years of living with someone else, you may find it more difficult to take care of the kids, and you may drift away from friends you and your partner shared throughout your relationship.
Divorce can even be bad for your health. Women who have been divorced at least twice are 35 percent more likely than continuously married women to experience a heart attack.
None of this means you shouldn’t get divorced! Sometimes it really is the best thing to do. No matter what your circumstances, it is important that you take the time to take care of yourself during and after your split.
Breakup as Kindly as Possible
Few things in life are more stressful than a divorce, but a contentious divorce is even worse. From fighting over possessions, like the house and the car, to worrying about how often you’re going to get to see the kids after the divorce, there are a lot of things to fight about. You’ll save yourself a lot of headache and heartache if you try your best to breakup as kindly as possible.
Try to compromise where you can, keep nasty comments to yourself, and try not to do a lot of yelling. Small things, like answering the phone when your ex calls and smiling when you see them can also make a big difference in how you feel during and after your divorce. It will make life less stressful now, but it will also make things easier after your divorce if you have to continue speaking to your ex about the kids.
Don’t Be Afraid to Reach Out for Support
Going through a divorce can be lonely. You may think that friends and family don’t want to hear you moping about the end of your relationship, especially if its end was really for the best, but nothing could be further from the truth.
Friends and family are probably more than happy to lend an ear on your hardest days. They can help in other ways too. They can help you get work done in the yard, they can help take care of the kids, and they can drop off dinner on days when you’re busy at work and meeting with lawyers.
Make Time to do Something You Love
What are some things you used to love, but you let them go throughout the duration of your relationship? Or maybe you never really had a hobby? No matter what your situation, it’s important to make time to do something you love.
A few fun hobbies to try after your breakup include:
- Take a class
- Go dancing
- Start journaling
- Complete a home improvement project
- Cook or bake
Doing something you love doesn’t necessarily have to be a hobby! Whether you love to soak in hot baths, spend time in nature, or go for long drives, what matters is that you’re carving out time in your day to do things that make you happy.
Work on Other Relationships
Just because your romantic relationship ended doesn’t mean you don’t have other wonderful relationships in your life. Unfortunately, many of those relationships can take a backseat after marriage. Make them a priority again after your relationship ends.
Make it a point to reach out to your parents more often, ask a friend if they would like to make getting coffee a regular thing, or catch up with a cousin you haven’t talked to in years. The success of making connections with other important people in your life will help you feel better about the loss of your romantic relationship.
Move Your Body
Everyone always talks about getting exercise, whether you’re experiencing a breakup, you want to work on your health, or you want to sleep better at night. Exercise is great, but if that sounds intimidating, focus on moving your body instead.
There’s no reason to overexert yourself or start a demanding exercise routine. Moving your body may mean doing something as simple as going for daily walks or working in the garden. Move your body in ways that make you happy and you’ll find dealing with your divorce is just a little easier.
Going through a divorce can bring up all kinds of feelings. Even if you’re glad your relationship is ending, you may be sad about how it’s going to change your life. Working through the entire spectrum of feelings can be difficult to do on your own. Don’t be afraid to get help.
Consider meeting with a therapist. Not only can they help you work through your feelings now, but they can help you create a strong mental foundation for any future relationships you pursue.
You can also consider joining a group. Instead of getting one-on-one counseling, you can get input and advice from others who are going through the same situation you are. You could even make some friends along the way.
Don’t Rush the Grieving Process
It can be strange to recognize that you’re grieving your divorce, but for many, that’s exactly what happens. Even if it’s good that your relationship is ending, it’s normal to feel grief for all the things that are coming to an end, even if it’s just the end of a dream you had for the perfect relationship and family.
Don’t rush the grieving process. Allow yourself to feel sad and work through that sadness as it comes up. Don’t feel bad if you spend weeks, months, or even years feeling sad about the end of your relationship. Everyone works through things at different paces!
Don’t put your health and happiness last during and after your divorce! You’ll survive your divorce feeling happier and healthier, and your family will be happier, if you take the time to take care of yourself by doing things like finding a new hobby, moving your body, getting counseling, and more.