Being a new parent can be very overwhelming. Especially if this is your first child and you want daddy to be involved as much as possible.
Some dad’s take to parenting with open arms while others shy away using excuses to get out of everyday tasks.
But what are the signs that daddy isn’t doing enough? Let’s exposed the 7 Tell Tell Signs New Daddy Isn’t Doing Enough!
- They take too long to form a bond with baby
A newborn requires constant attention and at the beginning that attention will primarily come from mummy. This is especially the case if you decide to breastfeed.
However, if daddy is not actively trying to hold or interact with the baby in between feeds, then you may have a problem.
What to do: Remind your partner that you need time to do other things.
You can’t watch the baby and have a bath at the same time. Give him a simple activity to do so he can’t worm his way out of it. An good example is reading a story to baby while you get dressed.
- They don’t want to change a nappy
Nappy changing is vital for newborns and they will be changed up to 12 times a day. If they are constantly avoiding the nappy change, using excuses like “I might do it wrong”, then you know he’s ducking and diving responsibility.
What to do: This is the PERFECT activity you should ‘outsource’ to new daddy.
It’s something that always needs to be done so even if he works full time he can still get involved before he goes and once he’s back.
Remind him that changing nappies is good bonding time. If he still refuses then try an alternating system where you change the first nappy, he does the second etc.
- They think they will break the baby.
Babies are fragile, very fragile and learning how to handle them can take some time. Here you may need to be a little more patience, especially if this is his first baby. Show him how to handle baby, hold a baby and secure the head. Do this as many times as you think is necessary until you see improvement.
- They always complain about mundane things!
If baby spits up or vomits they complain. If the baby cries or is agitated they complain. If baby poo’s three times in 1 hour they hit the roof!
Remember, your baby can sense our frustrations and anxiety so by continuing to complain they are just making the problem worse.
What to do: Remind them that newborn babies don’t stay newborn forever.
Soon they will be crawling and walking around the house and will want to be involved in everything! Explain that this is the easier part and that they should cherish the newborn stage as much as possible!
(Soon you will be dealing with the signs of terrible twos!)
- They don’t smile or laugh or do baby sounds
Not everyone is a natural with babies, but being a baby person doesn’t mean you need to have the best “baby shark” voice. Newborn babies need lots of stimulation and daddies stimulation is just as important as mummies.
What to do: Encourage playtime between new baby and daddy and try to stimulate an environment that helps.
For example. If daddy works in the week then on Saturday morning put on baby music, take out baby toys and give daddy a set time to play. This routine will encourage learning and a better connection for them both.
- They always seem distracted & constantly find excuses to getaway.
If your partner always has a reason to get away from baby, you and the house then you definitely have a problem.
Some new dads are more sensitive than others and need more time to adjust the “New Normal“. Some time away from home is actually recommended as it will give new daddy time to clear his head, vent emotions and come back more attentive.
What to do: Remind daddy that you are just as emotionally overwhelmed as he is. Tell him, If he cares about you he’ll find a way to give you 5, 10, or 15 minutes alone for yourself each day.
- Old school thinking: Parenting is a mum job!
This is the worse of the lot! Some men have archaic principles that baby and home care is a women’s job. While newborn babies do need mummy a lot more at the beginning, as they get older those roles to tend to merge.
What to do: Remind daddy that as baby get’s older you can
– wash and dress by yourself,
– feed and burp by yourself
– play and stimulate yourself
– even put baby to sleep yourself! (a mummy can only dream!)
– Start a discipline framework
Your baby needs just as much daddy time as mummy time as they get older, so remind him that his role is just as important as yours!
Finding your family dynamic can take some time. Every family is different so try not to compare too much. The most important thing is that you, baby and daddy are all learning, experiencing and growing together.
Let me know if you agree in the comments below!