Raising children is a tough work, which involves patience, concentration, faithfulness, and commitment to common long-term goals with your spouse. Despite that it is difficult, I am willing to do this job eternally because my children are the sense of my life. I often ask myself: “How to raise children so that they can become good people, conscientious citizens, responsible parents?” I am sure that this question is asked by parents all over the world, but there is no universal answer to it.
However, the key, which will help your child to become happy and look at the world through the prism of love and compassion is a strong spiritual bond between parents. Of course, children also need love and understanding, but if you are in a relationship, then your partner comes first because the ambiance of love and trust in the family contributes to the child’s harmonious development.
So, how does love between parents affect children? Why is it so important to share mutual love and respect? I’ve tried to figure it out.
- A Proper Family Model
Often it happens that parents treat children affectionately, but don’t love and respect each other. This situation leads to the formation of the wrong family model in children.
Kids are observant, that is why they are very sensitive to tension between parents and are affected by the way mom and dad interact. For instance, when the girl looks at her mom, she subconsciously forms the model of behavior and perceives the attitude towards her mother as a standard. The boy, in his turn, replicates the behavior of his father and in the future, he may consider a disdainful attitude towards a woman as an acceptable way of communication.
Therefore, love between parents is vital.
- Avoidance of Selfishness
Parents should be tasked with surrounding kids with care and boundless love, but this love also should have its limit. Otherwise, children are likely to grow arrogant and self-centered. Sharing mutual focus on children is great, but you should pay attention to things between you two.
Remember that a marriage without intimacy and solving paramount family issues is doomed to failure, and children will suffer from it. So, invest energy in your relationship with the partner, if you don’t want to find an obsolete marriage sometime later.
- Love Teaches Love
Children, who have loving parents as role models, tend to have a successful personal life. These children develop knowing how to give and accept love, but before expressing their love, they should know what this feeling is about. Thereby, parents should show it to them through their example.
For instance, if a husband pays court to a wife, organizes spontaneous dates, sends romantic I love messages, amazes with fancy surprises, and the wife also tries to impress him, then the home will be filled with a loving atmosphere. Therefore, the child, who grows up in the environment of mutual love and devotion, will be attentive and caring to his second half in the future.
However, to love each other doesn’t mean that you should be attracted only physically or spiritually, love means to be compassionate to each other for the sake of common interests – children. Thus, learn how to love, respect your ex, or current partner and your children will become adults with kind hearts.
- Positive Outlook
Love helps us to see the best in the world and to be more optimistic. Indeed, the person, who loves and is loved, never judges others and does not dwell on failures. Love is a source of inspiration, it helps us to get through the tough moments with faith in a brighter future.
But if a strained relationship between parents transmits yearning, pain, and confusion, a child has all chances to turn into an introverted and embittered adult. Besides, if the kid has a lack of love, he might go into a misguided search for affection and tenderness, eventually, he ends up with a broken heart and spoiled life.
- Impact On Self-Awareness
Parental relations have a profound impact on the process of a personality formation. Parents embody certain ideals for kids, that is why marital discord affects them negatively.
If the relationship is cordial, then a proper value orientation is formed in children, they learn how to navigate in a family environment, how to be compassionate, understanding and gentle. Ultimately, such kids are kind to everyone and especially to their elderly parents, who can’t fend for themselves.
- Promote Harmonious Psychological Development
Situations when parents constantly use hostile strategies like verbal or non-verbal aggression with each other and engage in disgraceful acts before their children, wreck the kids’ hearts and they sense resentment. Some children relieve this stress through tears and scream, whereas others pretend to be strong and bury the pain deep in themselves. This destructive conflict leads to serious psychological problems and an undeveloped sense of emotional love.
The kid may disbelieve that warm feelings can exist between human beings and deliberately cultivate hatred to a particular sex. Likewise, the sibling relationship is also affected: they may become either extremely caring with each other or distant.
Hence, if parents are congenial, they strive to create the ambiance of love, security and trust at home, fortify the relationship, then children will emulate their positive attitude and develop a devoted character for future relations.
Written by Helen Rogers http://sweetytextmessages.com