No More Excuses: 5 Real Reasons to Get Divorced

Your marriage was supposed to be this lifelong event that had you living in a fairytale state with your best friend. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for most people. According to a Time article, the divorce rate in the US is currently 39%, which is much lower than the 50% that was true years ago. But even with divorce rates dropping, it doesn’t mean that you should deal with an unhappy marriage. Below are some of the most common excuses people give to stay married, and the reasons why you shouldn’t use that to stay together.

Excuse #1: We have kids.

So what? Talk to any psychologist and you’ll find that children raised in a house with unhappy parents does more damage than those raised in two separate households. Do not assume you are doing anything good for your children by staying together with someone you no longer love. If you and your spouse are having troubles that cannot be reconciled in any other way, then you are better off raising your children together but in different households. Co-parenting is a wonderful solution that allows children to feel loved by their parents, and it allows parents to separate from unhealthy relationships without worrying about damaging their children.

Excuse #2: When it’s good, it’s good.

This is the excuse often heard by those who are dealing with physical or emotional abuse from their spouse. True, when everything is going great, the relationship may be wonderful. However, the risk you are taking by staying together with someone who is emotionally or physically abusive is not worth it, even if he or she can make you smile sometimes. According to domestic violence lawyers in Denver, “Getting out of a troubled marriage is a tough decision, but it’s one that people don’t regret.”

Excuse #3: I can’t afford it.

Divorce is expensive, and it’s time consuming, and nobody enjoys it. But you should never let your financial situation keep you in a marriage that is unhealthy. There are plenty of divorce lawyers out there who will work on your case pro bono or who can help you afford the legal services you need with lower payments. In addition, this is the time to reach out to family members, friends, and anyone else who could help you get out of a bad situation. This may mean having to move in with a friend or relative until you get on your feet, but it will be worth it in the end when you’re no longer unhappy all the time.

Excuse #4: They need my help.

You should never let the dependence of your spouse weigh you down if divorce is truly the right solution. For instance, if your spouse suffers from drug or alcohol abuse, or if they have gambling issues or other bad habits, it’s not your responsibility to turn their life around if they don’t want it. Of course you don’t want anything bad to happen to your spouse, but you also need to understand that staying in a bad relationship to hopefully one day help them is not healthy for you. Be sure to take the time to think through what it is you want from the marriage and what work they are putting in to change, and if you don’t see it being equal, then you need to stop using it as an excuse.

Excuse #5: I love him/her.

Of course you love him or her—that’s likely why you got married in the first place. But if you have had your fair share of differences and you cannot seem to come to any agreement that makes you both happy, then it’s time to walk away and let it be. People who love each other still get divorced; it’s just a matter of knowing what’s right for you at that specific moment in your life. If you have tried couple’s counseling or have tried working through your issues in other ways and you both aren’t as happy as you’d hoped to be, then divorce may be the final answer.

Getting divorced is not an easy decision to make, but it’s also not something you should continue putting off just because of some excuse you made up in your head. If you have contemplated divorce, or if you find you’re using one of these popular excuses, then now is the time to truly think about what you want and make the right decision for you and your family.