Your wedding day is typically one of the biggest days of your life. If you have kids when you marry, you are likely going to want to include them in your wedding in one way or another. This inclusion can be especially important in a situation where you are remarrying after divorce from your children’s other parent or if the other parent has died.
Children often have trouble with a parent moving on and marrying someone else. In cases of divorce, a remarriage lays to rest any hopes the child may have had about a reconciliation. After a parent dies, the surviving parent remarrying can feel like their deceased parent is being replaced and forgotten.
Whatever the case, it is critical to have a talk with your children about the new situation. You need to explain the situation to them as best you can and let them know that your love for them comes first. Beyond that, finding a way to make them feel part of your wedding can go a long way towards easing the transition.
Give Your Child an Official Role
One of the best ways to show your children that you are all in this next chapter together is by giving them an official role in your wedding. Giving your child the title of Maid of Honor or Best Man can show them how important they are to the event. Although, you might want to have the duties of planning your bachelor/bachelorette party to someone else.
Depending on how many children you and your spouse-to-be have, you may need to find some other roles as well. Your children can make up your whole bridal party, throw flowers, be the ring bearer, escort guests to their seats or even be the MC or DJ. It all depends on their age and comfort level.
Of course, if you give your child a role in a candle ceremony, carrying event insurance may become even more important than usual if they aren’t really old enough to be playing with fire.
Include Your Children in Your Vows
If you are writing your own vows, include vows you make to your kids or soon-to-be step-kids. These additional vows are an especially good way for a step-parent to show their new children that they are committed to them, as well as to their mom or dad.
Have Your Children Join in the First Dance
Including your children as a part of this moment is a great way to make them feel like they are not forgotten. You can even teach them some special dance moves for the event (if you don’t have two left feet yourself).
Include Them on the Cake
A good way to symbolize the coming together of the whole family is to have your cake topper also include the children. Custom-made versions of your children perched atop the cake along with you and your new spouse can be an excellent way to display that this is a union of more than two people.
Make Your Children a Part of the Ring Exchange
Having a piece of jewelry to exchange with your children that symbolizes your new family can be a great addition to the ceremony. It doesn’t have to be a ring. Giving your children a custom pin or a necklace with a symbol designed specifically for your new family can be a very classy way to make them feel important and loved.
Allow Your Child to Make a Speech
If your child is old enough and not too shy, having them make a speech at the reception is a great way to make them feel important on your big day. If they need help, you can have a grandparent or other family member help them write the speech so that they feel comfortable.
You Are All Family Now
Whatever way in which you choose to incorporate your children, it is important to remember that you are all one big family now. Making sure your kids know that from day one is essential to happiness within your new family.