Things To Consider To Deal With Parents Wishing To Age At Home


Few parents can be very stubborn and will put their foot down to move to any assisted living facility as they age. They will not want to leave their home at any cost. However, you probably cannot push them out or take any drastic step to make them agree to your ideas. You will need to deal with such matters wisely so that both yours as well as your parent’s desires are fulfilled.

It is a common scenario with the seniors as research shows that more than 90% of them will deny going into any kind of a ‘home’ when they age. However, sometimes staying in home works well when people age but in most of the times aging at home can be a fantasy than a reality when the needs of the seniors are considered.

These are the specific things that you need to consider while you deal with a senior member of your family, who of course is your loved one. It is only when you find that the conditions as well as the living conditions are favorable that you should start looking for one of the best and most reliable home care agencies near me for the additional care and professional assistance required.  

Independence is an issue

There are lots of issues that will ask a senior to move into an assisted living facility or even stay at home while they age.

  • One such issue is independence. In most of the cases it is found that seniors often are apprehensive that they will have no freedom or independence in any assisted living facility or in a nursing home care. Therefore, they are reluctant to move into such care facility. They think that they will be more independent in their homes rather than in a so-called ‘home.’
  • Independence can also be an issue for which they should be moved into a care facility. True they may be to some extent, sometimes such loss of independence is required and they be moved into a nursing home or any place where they will be under constant care and vigil. This is for the benefit of their health, to ensure proper medication on time and their overall well-being.

Sometimes, people may be simply accustomed to live in a larger house and space and fear to be confined in a smaller bed and a room that too with an unknown roommate, much against his or her liking.

  • In such situations, instead of creating a fuss, you should take time and make gentle urgings stating that staying at home at this age and in this condition may not be an ideal or a safe aging choice.
  • You may also cite a few examples of his or her friends telling how they lost their health as well as their independence and finally had to move away in a critical state.

Well, you will not be successful always making such approaches but it is still worth a try.

Taking on a different approach

When you parent is stubborn enough to cling on to his or her view that it is fine and safe at home and it is better to live on being independent forever at home, you can take a different approach altogether. If there is a specific ailment he or she is suffering from such as arthritis, cite the frustrations and inconveniences that she would face at home, which is ideally not designed to allow any senior to age in it.

  • Give examples like he or she will not be able to grip things
  • Face problems in the shower and toilet
  • Forget to take medications and others.

More often than not, such things will eventually get to him or her and you will be successful in making your parent agree to move into an assisted living facility.

At times, when you make them understand things in a much polite and a better way, they will really feel that:

  • The big house is really too big for them to manage
  • They will really cause inconvenience to others simply for them being stubborn and not move and even
  • Realize the benefits of moving into a care facility.

In addition to that, make them realize, and of course be honest with yourself, that he or she will be close to you and your kids, regular visits will be made and all her needs will be well met with by both you as well as the care givers.

However, make sure that you do not harp on the cost factor in any type of aging options you suggest or want your parents to take. Always talk about the inconveniences that your parents will face rather than yours. If you really have to talk about cost, do not talk bout the direct expenses but about the cost effectiveness of the specific option that you want him or her to avail. This will surely have a good effect and ensure a positive result.

Aging in home option

Well, sometimes aging in home can be a better option for the seniors. However, if this the choice that you as well as your parent want to go for, you will need to make sure that all the conditions are suitable for it.

  • If you have to hire a home care or home health care service for your parent to age at home, you will also need to care for the federal laws that regulates the provisions you need to make to them, such as separate accommodation and others.
  • You will also need to consider the accessibility of different areas in your house to the seniors, especially the bathroom and kitchen where maximum falls and accidents happen to the seniors. You may need to make proper renovations in your home if you have the budget or even choose a smaller rental nearby in the same community for that matter.

Both the options for aging, in-home or in assisted living facility, needs a lot of considerations for both you as well as your parent.  Therefore, take some time and consider all aspects to make a final decision.

About Author

LaDonna Dennis

LaDonna Dennis is the founder and creator of Mom Blog Society. She wears many hats. She is a Homemaker*Blogger*Crafter*Reader*Pinner*Friend*Animal Lover* Former writer of Frost Illustrated and, Cancer...SURVIVOR! LaDonna is happily married to the love of her life, the mother of 3 grown children and "Grams" to 3 grandchildren. She adores animals and has four furbabies: Makia ( a German Shepherd, whose mission in life is to be her attached to her hip) and Hachie, (an OCD Alaskan Malamute, and Akia (An Alaskan Malamute) who is just sweet as can be. And Sassy, a four-month-old German Shepherd who has quickly stolen her heart and become the most precious fur baby of all times. Aside from the humans in her life, LaDonna's fur babies are her world.

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