Change is a good thing even if it requires a little bit of an explanation to your kids. However, some topics are going to be a little trickier than others, so if you plan on explaining your new-found lesbian love, you should take some time to prepare. We’re going to show you several different ways to go about talking to your kids regarding your sexuality.
Remember to Consider the Kids’ Age and Comprehension
The first thing that you need to think about when explaining your relationship to your kids is their age and level of comprehension. In some ways, explaining things to younger children is easier than older kids because there will usually be less of an interrogation involved. If you are raising a child as a lesbian couple or if you have split from the father and pursued a female seeking female relationship, then you are going to have a two-fold explanation on your hands. You know your child, though, so you will know what to expect in terms of the necessary depth and breadth of the conversation.
Get Their Opinions and See What They Know
As much as we think that our kids are going to be paragons of modern sensibilities for lesbian and gay relationships that might not always be the case. If you have older kids, they may have picked up on some negative sentiments that you will need to approach and overcome before or during the explanation about your new lifestyle. This part is much easier if you are raising your child with a lesbian wife or significant other because it will seem much more normal to your children.
Reinforce the Need for Acceptance
While you are explaining your relationship to your kids, you need to emphasize the need for acceptance. This can extend far beyond the “some girls like other girls” speech that you can expect to give and reach into areas far beyond including race and religion. Never pass up an opportunity for a teachable moment that will go far beyond the topic at hand. However, if you are set on approaching one topic at a time, then it’s a good idea to stick with the basic need for acceptance for you as a person.
Don’t Leave Your Orientation in Doubt- This Is You!
The final piece of advice for discussing your lesbian relationship is that you cannot leave your sexual orientation in doubt. You want to tell your kids in a firm way that this is who you are. It’s not a phase and it’s not something that is an option for you. This is who you are. Moreover, you don’t want to leave off with a half measure. If you are only into women now, then you should tell your kids that if they are mature enough to comprehend it. You don’t want them to think that this is temporary or that you aren’t completely sure about it yourself.
As you can see, “coming out” to your kids is something that is not as difficult to do if you are prepared. After all, the fact is that more and more parents are going through this than ever before. As long as you take some time to consider their age and understanding, reinforce the need for acceptance of all people, take time to ask their opinions and gain insight about what they know, and make sure that you leave no question about your new orientation, your explanation should go over well. As with anything, timing is everything so make sure you are looking for opportunities to talk to your kids when you have the chance