Marriage can be one of the most exciting parts of your life. Marrying the love of your life is something that everybody dreams of. But married life is not always easy or perfect.
It takes a lot of hard work to maintain a happy and successful marriage. Each party has to put in the effort to make a marriage work. Still, 48% of marriages end in divorce within 20 years, and for different reasons.
No one marries a person expecting their marriage to fail. But if you’re worried about your relationship, here are some signs your marriage is over. Dealing with separation and divorce is not an easy task, but knowing these things may help you plan how to move forward.
- Lack of Communication
Lack of communication is one of the leading causes of a failed marriage. It can cause your relationship with your spouse to become stagnant. Talking is one of the fundamental aspects of marriage.
It is how you connect with your spouse. Without communication, you start to grow emotional distance from your partner. Lack of communication can take different forms.
This includes silent treatment, criticism, defensive communication, and not trying to talk at all. Couples who are not open with one another tend to make wrong assumptions. You may end up bottling problems that will blow up later on.
- You’re Looking for Reasons to Separate
Looking for reasons to separate may be one of the biggest signs your marriage is over. The act of looking for a sign is already a sign. Many people have trouble coming to terms with the reality that their marriage is over.
It can be difficult to choose between staying or leaving and feeling confident with your decision. But if you’re always thinking about leaving your partner, it may be a sign you need a divorce. You may try to convince yourself into staying, but you’re not excited about the future.
There may be a serious problem if you feel oppressed, trapped, or uninspired in your marriage. Fantasizing about being free from your partner is another big sign. If this happens to you, it may be time to start taking it seriously.
- Lack of Physical Intimacy
Sex is usually the first thing to go before couples separate. Your sex life may have become boring or overall non-existent. Or you might find yourself thinking about something or someone else during sex.
Lack of physical intimacy does not only pertain to sex. It may include small gestures like holding hands, hugging, cuddling, or kissing. These gestures help couples feel connected and loved by one another.
Lack of physical intimacy may stem from a lack of desire or falling out of love. It may also be a big sign if one partner rejects the other constantly. This may affect the spouse’s self-esteem.
- You Always Fight
Your marriage may be failing if you always fight with your partner. Fighting from time to time is normal, and some may even consider it healthy. But regular explosive fights, especially about trivial matters, can be a sign to get a divorce.
It creates a hostile environment for both parties. This environment makes it difficult to compromise and find solutions. Constant arguing may also lead to the inability to empathize with your spouse.
The hostile environment may make a person more defensive. A simple question may become interpreted as criticism, leading to another fight. This is an especially difficult situation if you and your spouse have kids.
If you’re looking when to get a divorce, it may be more difficult if you have kids. Check out this guide if you’re planning to divorce with kids. Many couples think staying for their children is the better choice but often makes it worse.
- You Don’t Like Yourself
If you’re unhappy with the person you have become, it may be time to reassess your relationship. A toxic or unhappy relationship may contribute to a drastic change in your personality. You may not recognize the person in the mirror.
You may also feel isolated even when you’re with your partner. Feeling isolated may mean that the closeness you once shared with your partner is now gone. It becomes hard to maintain a relationship with someone you don’t feel connected with.
- Lacking the Desire to Understand
Many couples in failed marriages go through a denial stage. But one of the big signs your marriage is over is when you no longer want to understand. It’s normal for any couple to experience fights, challenges, and disagreements.
When you marry someone, you choose to make the decisions to maintain your bond. If one refuses to understand the other’s feelings, thoughts, or desires, there is a huge problem. Without understanding, it may be more difficult to resolve issues.
Lack of understanding may contribute to growing distant. Your partner may not feel like they can rely on you. This starts a downward spiral into more problems.
- Passing the Blame
A healthy marriage is when both partners work together, even when they’re fighting. You threaten your marriage when you constantly work against each other. Every fight may turn into a blame game and everyone starts pointing fingers.
A healthy relationship is when couples build each other up and work through problems together. But in a failed marriage, you only see each other’s flaws. One or both spouses may refuse to take responsibility for their actions.
That person may twist the blame onto their spouse. Humility and willingness to take responsibility is a huge factor of a successful marriage. Lacking it may lead to irreparable damages.
Listen to the Signs Your Marriage Is Over
Now you know some of the biggest signs your marriage is over. Realizing your marriage is over is never easy. One may go through months or years of denial before accepting it.
Separating with your partner is never easy. But there are ways to have a healthy divorce with your spouse. You may also consider marriage counseling if you want to fix it.
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