Let’s face it – no one gets married anticipating that divorce is just around the corner. Unfortunately, nothing in life is perfect, and sometimes, marriages do indeed end up in divorce. One cannot begin to imagine how much of an emotional and financial toll this can take on a couple, but like all challenges in life, divorce can truly teach you many valuable lessons and build you up to be an even better version of yourself than you once were. In this article, we will look at some of the things that I learned through my divorce, and how a heartbreaking time in my life had a silver lining, making me grow and develop as a person.
- Healing Takes Time
Like most traumatic events in life, healing takes time – and going through a divorce is no different. During your divorce, you may feel like your entire world, everything you have built together has come crashing down. Guess what? It’s okay to feel that way. It has to get worse before it gets any better. Feeling distraught, or mourning the end of a relationship is completely normal and you should allow yourself to feel these feelings instead of trying to block them out. Only then can you move on with your life and truly heal your wounds. Remember, it doesn’t happen instantly, so be patient. Finding a family lawyer you can trust or a therapist amidst the chaos can also help you rationalize things and put everything into perspective.
- The Time To Manage Future Expenses Is Now
When you are feeling emotional, it is all too easy to go out and spend large sums of money to make yourself feel better. Do yourself a favor and avoid doing this at all costs. Financial issues more than often crop up during and after a divorce – assets have to be split, money shared and so on, so being wise about your spending was never more crucial than in a time like now. Remember that time will heal you but your brash financial decisions will only affect you for longer than necessary.
- Revenge Isn’t All That It’s Cut Out To Be
Sometimes, when things fail, regardless of who was in the wrong, we feel the strong desire to exert our revenge on our ex-partners. Resorting to petty ideas such as sending in a complaint to your ex’s office about his poor attitude will speak miles more about your own character than your partners. Humiliating someone or “getting back” at them will not heal your relationship or change what has happened, so stay away from doing so. Be at peace with what has happened and happiness will follow suit.
- The Holidays Will Be A Difficult Time For You
The first birthday, Christmas or New Year’s Eve that you spend without your partner is not going to be a walk in the park. When you are so accustomed to spending the holidays with your ex-partner every single year, sadness and loneliness can loom when you are spending it alone this year. Ideally, you will want to plan a vacation or surround yourself with your friends and family during the holidays, instead of spending it alone. If you have kids, ensure that you create a schedule that works for both you and your ex in advance.
- Divorce Can Be Empowering
It’s not all gloom and doom when it comes to divorce.
If anything, although a divorce is the end of a chapter in your life, it is also the start of a fresh new one. Now is the time for you to go out and do what you want – were you always keen on traveling, but never went about doing it because your partner wasn’t as excited about it as you were? Well, now that you’re on your own, it is your time to shine. Do things that you’ve always wanted to do, go out and meet new people. The world is your oyster and you deserve a fresh new start.
Although divorce is one of the most painful things anyone could go through, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. You know what they say – if you’re going through hell, keep going!”.
