Preparing Your Children for Your Divorce: 7 Helpful Tips

Divorce touches every family member and usually, the negative impact is inevitable. Although divorcees themselves may be seen as the most affected participants of the marriage termination procedure, their kids usually suffer even more. This makes preparing for divorce with children a vital step to guarantee the positive outcomes and mental and physical wellness of your kids when it’s all over. Check out the common tips to get your children ready to divorce with no complications.

• Announce Divorce Together

Once you decide to get Utah divorce papers, it is good to let your children know about the upcoming changes, too. It is better if they learn the news from their parents directly, but not from other people or by accident. 

Discuss with your spouse how and when it is better to announce your intentions. It is highly recommended that you do it together, in a safe place, and in an age-appropriate manner. You can also consult a therapist or family counselor on how to tell your kids about divorce so that they don’t suffer much. 

• Don’t Go Into Many Details

When preparing your children for divorce there is no need to involve them much. You should only get them to know about future fluctuations and challenges. But you’d rather avoid telling your kids about the causes, property division, or financial hurdles. Plus, it would be better if they don’t witness your discussions and arguments over the divorce settlement. Your children don’t have to carry the burden of divorce with you.

• Don’t Blackmouth Your Spouse

Another must about how to prepare your child for divorce is to avoid black mouthing your partner. Even if there is any turbulence between you two, don’t engage your kids in it. They shouldn’t become the participants of your arguments, witnesses of your fights, or transmitters of your messages. You will both remain their beloved parents, so it is better not to ruin the status and your relationships with children completely. 

• Stay Positive

As long as you treat your divorce as the end of your relationship and your happy life, feel devastated and at loss, your children will feel the same or even worse. So if you want to prepare for a divorce efficiently and protect your kids, you should concentrate on the positive aspects of the upcoming changes. Be kind and caring to your kids and plan a happy future together. Explain that both parents will be still there to support and nurture them in the very best way. This will allow your kids to feel safe and confident about the upcoming perspectives. 

• Stick to a Regular Schedule

Your kids will feel overwhelmed with the changes that divorce and parenting bring to them. So, you’d better avoid any other fluctuations on the way to the end of a marriage. 

Try to maintain the very same daily timetable, don’t change school and neighborhood if possible, and let kids communicate with non-custodial parents as much as possible. This will help children feel the ground under their feet and move forward together with any changes happening in your family.

• Pay More Time and Attention to Kids

The research proves that divorce with kids is always more stressful and complicated. This means parents should invest more time and enthusiasm to help kids through it without any complications. 

Spend more qualitative time with your children. Talk about daily and serious issues regularly but don’t get too intrusive. Organize active and funny weekends, if possible, together with your ex. Support your children with their worries, fears, and concerns. Let them know they can rely on and trust you in difficult moments. 

• Reach for Professional Help

Sometimes you may feel you lack the knowledge or enthusiasm to prepare and help your children go through marriage termination healthily. In such a case don’t be ashamed or scared to reach out to a professional to help you cope. It may be a child therapist or psychologist, a family counselor, and similar experts. 

You may start with sessions for divorced couples so that both you and your ex know in what direction to move. Then family therapy or individual sessions for your children may be an option. This way you will protect your kids from the negative impact of divorce and use all possible tools to help them overcome the related turbulence.