Living With an Alcoholic Spouse? 6 Ways To Be Supportive

Supporting a spouse struggling with alcoholism can be extremely challenging. Addiction puts strain on relationships and impacts the whole family. However, they need your help.  What can you do to be there for them?

1. Arming yourself with education is the best way to help an alcoholic spouse. Learn the telltale signs of addiction like increased drinking over time, concealment of habits, relationship issues caused by drinking, and inability to control intake. Understand how alcohol impacts the body and brain, creating dependence and withdrawal symptoms when sober.

Recognize that relapse is part of the recovery journey for many. With compassion, patience, and knowledge, you can have an instrumental role in their recovery while taking care of yourself. This will empower you both to repair your marriage and transform for the healthier.

2. Encourage treatment and offer your involvement. Overcoming addiction requires professional help through counseling, 12-step programs, outpatient and inpatient treatments, medications, or likely a combination. Make treatment a requirement and offer to participate in couples counseling or family therapy sessions. This shows you’re committed to the relationship, not enabling behaviors.
3. Setting clear boundaries is essential if your spouse struggles with alcoholism. Though you cannot control their drinking, you can control your responses and what you accept in the relationship. Sit down when they are sober to explain how their actions impact you and that recurring drinking prevents intimacy and erodes trust between you. Establish what behaviors you will no longer tolerate, like name-calling or threats. Convey there will be consequences like you removing yourself until they get help.

Consider restricting their access to home finances to limit enablers. Implementing changes sends the message that you care about their well-being but refuse to suffer the consequences of their addiction. The main goal is upholding self-respect while encouraging your spouse to get treatment. Establishing mutual understanding makes space for your needs while motivating their sobriety. With consistency, boundaries give you control while offering your spouse accountability and incentive to change.

4. Support recovery, not the addiction. Helping your spouse battle alcoholism doesn’t mean shielding them from natural consequences. Allow them to experience the realities caused by drinking through legal, medical, financial, or career impacts. Remaining constantly available despite reckless actions prevents them from seeing alcohol’s destruction, which reduces motivation to build sobriety skills and make lifestyle changes.
5. Connect during sober moments. Spend quality time together during periods of sobriety, no matter how brief. Bond through positive interactions like date nights or activities you both enjoy before alcohol creeps back in. This reassures your spouse you cherish them for more than their addiction and happiness exists in sobriety. Offer frequent encouragement to reinforce progress.  
6. Prioritize your mental health needs. Being an alcoholic’s spouse produces tons of stress. Seek therapy, lean on trusted friends, immerse yourself in hobbies, and don’t hesitate to take regular respites. You cannot support someone else’s wellness without preserving your own. Setting an example of self-care, establishing boundaries, and demanding treatment ultimately display love by refusing to enable life-threatening behaviors.

With compassion, honesty, and self-respect, you can have an immense influence on your alcoholic spouse seeking change. Your commitment, patience, and understanding will help get them through impossibly tough times towards recovery. The journey holds challenges, but countless healthy relationships thrive thanks to a spouse who refuses to give up hope.