10 Emotional and Logistical Steps to Prepare for a Divorce

Preparing for divorce sounds like an uphill hill battle. A lot of people don’t want to have their spouses think of them as home-wreckers. They can’t imagine their partners thinking that they stayed in the marriage long enough to be financially stable to prepare for a divorce.

In a divorce, no one really wins. The best thing to do is make it happen as peacefully as possible so both of you can come out of the legal process ready to heal and move on.

If you’re about to end your marriage, you can ease things for yourselves by taking a few preliminary steps like figuring out the logistics, educating yourselves, and speaking with a creditable divorce attorney.

Here are 10 steps to take once you’re sure you want a divorce.

1. Get Educated on Divorce Law 

While you can expect your lawyer to eventually pick up the slack, obtaining a foundation of knowledge is both useful and empowering. If you have no prior understanding of how the divorce process works, consider starting to educate yourself.

Purchasing some books, reading legal articles, and maybe browsing some divorce blogs are good ways to prepare for a divorce. By doing so, you feed yourself with the right knowledge which you can use during the divorce process.

2. Talk to Wise Friends 

Wise friends rarely take sides just for the sake of it. They want both of you to succeed. Avoid seeking counsel from friends who’re likely to bash your partner and not focusing on uplifting you. 

Great friends will offer both of you the right advice and the support needed to help you prepare for a divorce. If you need a higher level of counsel, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist. They can also guide you on when to get a divorce.

3. Understand Your Finances and Make a Plan 

Understanding the basics of personal finance is vital before starting the divorce process. You won’t know the assets you will have coming in unless you’re aware of what you have and what you owe. Start by understanding how much money you will receive or pay in child support, or other support.

Having a financial plan for your post-divorce future is an essential step to ensuring you don’t end up flat broke. You want to be sure that you have enough resources to live and take care of all your bills once it’s over. If your budget doesn’t seem to balance, you need to come up with strategies, like decreasing expenditure and increasing the amount of savings.

4. Contact a Divorce Attorney 

Avoiding the representation of a divorce lawyer can have lasting effects. You may end up signing agreements or taking actions that can later complicate the separation process. A competent family law attorney can guide you through the legal proceedings while helping you to handle the situation tactfully.

5. Tell Your Children 

Think about the best way to break the news of your divorce to your children. First, get some motivation by reading some co-parenting quotes to cheer up: even after a divorce, there are ways to cope with the challenges of raising kids. Avoid any blame game, and let your kids know that it’s not their fault. You need to have planned on how to deal with your children’s emotions before this time, including how to co-parent them.

Children can quickly feel more unsecured and confused. While you’re not obliged to inform your kids about your financial situation, let them know whether or not their lives will change after the divorce.

6. Focus on Your Children’s Best Needs  

While you might want to share custody of children equally, it doesn’t always work that way. Consider your finances, work schedules, and geography in mind when deciding how each partner shares time with the children. 

The best way to handle divorce is by being honest when deciding what’s the best interest of your kids. If you’re fighting over child custody, for example, think about the kid’s needs, temperament, and practicalities.

7. Stay in Your Integrity 

Find time to grieve the loss of your marriage while keeping your cool. No matter how you feel, whether betrayed, angry, or your spouse is pressing your buttons, maintain your calm. Don’t let your spouse get under your skin so you take off your integrity. 

Avoid venting details of your divorce on social media, and don’t discuss how to prepare a divorce with anybody that listens. It doesn’t matter if your spouse is bad-mouthing you, even in front of the kids, be the bigger person. Focus on taking care of yourself emotionally, physically, and spiritually, so you remain in a better position to make rational decisions.

8. Commit to Moving Forward 

If all you do to salvage your marriage doesn’t work, you know divorce could be the best option for moving forward. Make up your mind and go about the divorce negotiations like a business transaction. This doesn’t mean you won’t experience stress, sadness, anger, and grief.

However, letting these emotions hijack your reasoning as you navigate through the divorce process could lead you to make decisions that might hurt you and your kids.

9. Stay Focused on the Goal 

The divorce process is no opportunity to teach your spouse about their wrongdoings. It’s also not the right time to make your point. There’s no need to keep scores.

Take a step back and think about what you want and where you want to be after all is said and done.

10. Focus on the Bigger Picture 

Just because divorce happened to you, it doesn’t make you a failure or evil. Indeed, it may not be anything you ever imagined to go through. If the steps you take, include the emotional aspects associated with separation, you and your spouse are more likely to end up as friends.

Are You Trying to Prepare for a Divorce?

Proper preparation and handling of legal separation will help lessen both financial and emotional struggles. Accepting your position and your choice will place you in a better position to quickly heal. 

Getting divorced is not only emotional but also demands lots of work. While it’s not easy to prepare for a divorce, and end a marriage, doing the things listed in this guide can help make the split less painful. 

For more tips and advice, check out more of our blog today.