Finding someone you can spend the rest of your days with is no easy task for sure, but the way you set about finding your perfect match will definitely make a difference to how successful you are in finding that Mr. Forever.
Another aspect of finding someone who is not for sharing is that STD rates around the nation are worryingly high, so all the time you are dating Mr. Right Now, there is always the worry that you might get something that you didn’t want from the relationship.
Here is a look at how you might be able to narrow down your shortlist of potential candidates and use some straightforward steps towards taking yourself off the dating market.
Knowing how to treat you right
The gifts and the dinner dates are always a nice touch and a potentially positive sign that you might have a keeper on your hands, but the real clincher is when you see that your man has strong female relationships in his life already.
This doesn’t mean dating other women of course. What you are looking for here is a guy who is in regular touch with his mom, sister, aunt and any women who he is a friend and an ally to, not on a material level.
The key point about this setup, is that he is way more likely to understand how things work from a woman’s perspective, or at least he is trying to get that vibe. If a man can enjoy a strong relationship with the women he is in regular contact with, it bodes well that he should be able to form a strong relationship with you as well.
We all know the old adage about opposites attract, and you can definitely find examples of relationships where that proves to be the case, but if you want to enjoy a smooth path to a long-term relationship, it is often better to find someone who shares the same interests as you.
The fact, many people tend to feel more at ease and in our comfort zone when we share our life with someone who happens to have pretty much the same beliefs and values, and maybe even the same characteristics.
What you are doing when you find someone who shares a lot of the same interests as you, is you are helping to remove a good number of potential sources of conflict, that would be bubbling under the surface if you were living with someone where the “opposites-attract” scenario applies.
Control-freaks need not apply
Who really wants to be with someone who is controlling?
If you are with someone who is almost constantly trying to change you and dictate certain aspects of your life and personality, that is ultimately going to prove harmful to your relationship.
If you are looking for a long-term partner, you really want to find someone who is not constantly attempting to control you or the relationship terms in general. When you have unresolved issues going on in your relationship and almost constant division, anger and resentment are also often lurking close to the surface.
What you want is someone who likes you just the way you are, so in your search for Mr. Forever, it could be a smart move to give the control-freaks a wide berth.
Emotional maturity is a big plus
Without trying to sound too sexist or lazily applying a stereotype, some men grow up physically but don’t always achieve the same feat on an emotional level.
Some good signs to look for in your search for the right man, would be to see what his skills are like in successfully resolving a point of conflict and whether he is able to show a reasonable level of empathy towards others.
If you find a man who doesn’t wallow in his own self-pity and doesn’t get angry when things are not going his way, you are onto someone who is showing a good level of emotional maturity, which is a key attribute and positive aspect when building a successful long-term relationship.
These are just some of the clues that should help you to narrow down your search, and one final clue to mention, is when you find a man who has definite plans for the future.
Someone who knows where they are heading and how to get there, in their work, life and relationships, has to be a big positive. When he starts talking positively about building a future together and has mapped out a route to follow, this may well be another positive sign that you have found a partner who is not just for right now.
Oscar Coles is a relationship therapist who you’ll also find penning articles around the web. He writes for both men and women to help them find ‘the one’ or solve relationship issues.