Parenting & Pregnancy: 6 Things to Expect As a Surrogate

Becoming a surrogate is a priceless moment for a woman who is willing to make someone’s parenthood dream come true. For some women, becoming a surrogate mother is not an easy decision, but for others, it is as easy as delivering their own child. They love the experience of being pregnant and the joy of providing a life-changing gift to another family. For first-timers, here are some key highlights on what to expect before and during the surrogacy process. 

As a first-time surrogate mother, you should consider all the consequences of carrying a child for nine months for someone else. You might be nervous about many questions like:

• How to become a surrogate? 
• What is the process? 
• What to expect during surrogacy?
• How could the experience be? 

While every surrogacy experience is unique, there are some everyday things to expect during your surrogacy journey. Here are some things you should experience throughout your surrogacy journey.

What to Expect Before Surrogacy?

As a surrogate, when you decide to experience the journey, you will have to go through the application processes. Besides, you will also have to undergo screenings to ensure you are physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to give birth to a child for someone else. It will require you to answer some vital questions to make life-changing decisions such as:

• Am I ready to be pregnant and carry someone else’s child in my womb for nine months?
• Will I be comfortable to undertake a potentially tricky pregnancy?
• Am I ready for intense fertility treatments? 
• Am I physically & mentally strong enough to commit to a healthy pregnancy?

If you are strongly willing to go ahead, consult a surrogacy agency and wait for the right match with your IPs (intended parents). This time duration may vary as per your situation. 

Legal Processes and Contract

Once you and the matched parents are ready, you should know about the legal processes on how to become a surrogate. You both need to agree on mutual consent and sign a legal contract. During the legal agreements, make sure you are open, transparent, and honest with your spouse/partner and intended parents. It is essential to share what you expect during and after your surrogacy journey. If you are heterosexual, you should be careful not to become pregnant accidentally with your egg. 

The legal contract includes sensitive issues like:

• Abortion
• Embryo transplants you are comfortable committing to
• Selective reduction
• Final compensation
• Presence during prenatal appointments and fertility treatments

For the incoming embryos implant, you should be ready to expect fertility treatments. These will make your uterus fertile and also ensure a regulated menstrual cycle. Be ready for the embryo transplants and implantations as sometimes it takes several embryo transfer attempts for a successful surrogate pregnancy. 

Stay open and honest in case of unsuccessful pregnancies. It will be a disappointment for both of you, so it is better to build a mutual relationship other than hiding it. Also, please share all the excitement and happiness with your intended parents on receiving good news to let IPs know they are nearing parenthood too!

During the Trimesters

The pregnancy trimesters is an altogether different experience for the intended parents and the surrogate mother. But it is the most critical time when a mother feels attached to a child of someone else. Although, there is a valid question of whether surrogate mothers feel attached to the unborn child? And so, you need to prevent yourself from becoming attached to your surrogate child. 

Here are some helpful steps for how you can make your pregnancy a life-changing moment for everyone involved. 

Document Your Pregnancy

Many parents love to document their child’s journey right from pregnancy to birth. You can create baby books, journals, or souvenirs. It would help if you shared this with your intended parents, so they feel connected to this journey and enjoy every moment.  

Prepare Your Child for Emotional Transfer 

When you are pregnant, make sure you involve the intended parents for a smooth emotional transfer of the baby. To help ease the process, encourage them to talk to the baby during pregnancy. It makes the baby familiar with their voice, sound, and scent. 

Stay connected to online surrogacy support groups

With time, you will learn to become comfortable with your surrogacy, but there will be times when you will feel confused about your pregnancy. It is quite natural due to the hormonal changes. It can be disorienting. So, it is essential to share and express your feelings to someone. You can reach out to a trusted friend or a surrogacy professional. You can also contact a therapist or join online support groups for surrogate mothers. You can read surrogate blogs. 

You will be coping with your emotions, physical changes, and other biological changes happening in and around during your pregnancy. During all these processes and ocean of emotions, stay connected to the IPs. Stay sensitive towards their feelings as they will be towards you. Also, make sure you involve them and make them feel comfortable in your surrogacy pregnancy.