If your first marriage ended in sadness, either through a death or a divorce, heading into a second marriage can be nerve-wracking. On the other hand, you might be going full steam ahead, excited about this wonderful new chance. A new marriage is a beautiful opportunity for new life and better experiences, but there are a few things to consider before you say, “I do.”
Don’t Date Too Soon
Be wary of “filling” the void your spouse left. Both divorce and death can leave you wounded, so it’s wise to consider waiting months, or perhaps a couple of years, before pursuing a new relationship. You have a great deal of healing to do, and your mind might not be clear enough to make a wise decision until you’ve learned to stand on your own two feet. If you feel a desperation to find a new mate, consider talking to a therapist as you recover from your previous relationship. You’ve taken a serious blow, and to take the best possible care of your future, you should take time to fully heal.
Date The Kids, Too
You might have stars in your eyes, and you might be thinking only of you and your partner’s happiness. If your partner has kids, however, either still at home or grown and on their own, you’ll want to consider them before you move too fast. A healthy stepfamily is not an easy task, and if you run right over the kids on your way to the altar, there will be hurt and resentment you may never repair. Take time to get to know the kids, listen to them, and make sure they’re ready for this huge change, too.
Make a Prenuptial Agreement
A prenuptial agreement may seem like Cynicism City, or a sign of complete lack of faith in your future happiness. A prenup, however, can be about more than divorce settlements. If you’ve both got kids from previous marriages, separate incomes, and separate families to take care of, like your parents, for instance, you might want to legally agree ahead of time about where the money goes. Once you or your new spouse passes away, things can become ugly among the kids, if inheritance isn’t legally divided in advance. If your kids are grown, you should definitely consider keeping your incomes separate, and legally drawing clear intentions for your last will and testament. A specialist, such as the Caldwell, NJ law firm, which specializes in family law, can help you decide on these details ahead of time.
Make a New Life
Once your spouse passes away or leaves, it’s important to make your new life separate from your old one. Your new spouse will be in danger of feeling like a replacement, so a new home, or even a new city, would be a wise choice for both of you. You can treasure memories of your departed spouse, while moving on to a brand new future. You can consider new home builders to truly start your future together in a fresh and brand new way.
