Being a mom grants us many happy moments in life, but denies many pleasures as well. There’s more to human experience that should be catered to in order to be a person of integrity, before anything else. This means that you should grant yourself the freedom to express your desires regardless of your role as a mother and let yourself experience life in its various unfoldings.
1. Self-Care Gatherings
It’s a busy life, and women forget how important self-care is for their well-being and self-esteem. Taking some time every week to do your nails and hair or take a bubble bath and do a self-massage is a way of boosting the self-esteem you need to be the best you can be.
But doing this with your friends is something not mentioned enough. Gathering of female friends as a time of self-reflection, sharing experiences and providing support is essential as many women are prone to depression when being neglected in this way.
At least once, treat yourself to a fancy spa, and make it a sacred girls night out. And try to make a habit out of these gatherings, be it at your home or somewhere else for brunch, since it can drastically change the way you perceive life and value yourself.
2. Inner Workshop
Mothers are especially prone to neglecting their inner worlds, as they are by instinct focused on other people and outer demands. Although this is what makes mothers the most caring people in the world, unbridled selflessness can cause more harm than good to them and those around them.
Be in collusion with what you dream your life to be. Negotiate but never compromise it. This will give you the confidence, strength, and motivation to deal with life’s challenges and not feel defeated. So tailor the inner world you wish to dwell in, dig into books, movies, fantasies. Enroll in courses, learn and create. Make this a meditative shelter you hold within yourself.
3. Second Honeymoon
As mothers, we sometimes neglect our manifold personality, which usually affects our romantic life first. This is a huge loss since romance is the key to both the emotional and physical closeness we need. Our partner can and should be the greatest support we have in life, so rediscover the romance and find time to vivify your vows once again.
Of course, this is something you could do every once in a while, but make it different and make it count. If you’re serious about renewing your vows, consider some of the luxury villas around the world. This can provide you with both the intimacy you crave and a safe and fun environment for the kids if you wish them to participate in this renewal as well.
4. Culture and Couture
Everything needs updating, and so do we. Staying in touch with the times is important so as to not make yourself alienated, disempowered and, in severe cases, resentful.
Stay attuned and follow the latest fashion trends, TV shows, YouTube blogs and other. It will give you the image of the world to which you can refer yourself, but also make you more accepting of the conventional games we play in the social life. This means tending to your persona, which can be done by investing in your clothing, language, body image, and anything that enhances your self-presentation.
The Paradox of Guilt
All of this is about being lost in one way or another, whether in a relationship, in the peer group, in time or lost to yourself. There’s no excuse for letting yourself down like this. Moms usually tend to feel guilty for not giving away enough of themselves, which, paradoxically, leads to losing the things one wishes to nurture.
Being a mother cannot substitute the whole of our being, but being a wholesome human being makes for a good mother.
I know a young mother studying at college. She devotes a lot of time to her child. To save time, she buys an essay on the Internet. You can read what students say about it. I see that she is happy because she has free time for her family.