Helping Your Kids Not Be Afraid of the Doctor

Going to the doctor can be scary — especially for kids. As adults, we know that it’s important to go to the doctor, so we can usually put aside any fear we might have so we can stay healthy. Kids can’t usually make that connection and often associate the doctor only with uncomfortable poking and prodding. 

It’s always best to be proactive and prevent fear of medical appointments as much as possible while your kids are young by making going to the doctor as positive as possible. However, there are also steps you can take if your child is already afraid of the doctor. Here are some tips that might help. 

Don’t Surprise Them

You might think it’s better if you don’t tell your kids that they have to go to the doctor before the appointment. However, this won’t make them less scared of the doctor and will probably make their fear worse!

Instead, take some time to prepare them for their appointment. Tell them about the visit in advance and talk about the reasons we go to the doctor and what they can expect. Explain things in a way that makes sense to them and encourage questions. You can also read books or watch videos designed for kids that explain why we go to the doctor and what will happen. 

Don’t Make Assumptions 

If you assume your kids will be afraid of the doctor, then your behavior might reinforce that fear. Your body language, the way you talk, and other subtle clues will tell them that the doctor IS scary. Instead, stay calm and offer comfort if they are afraid or ask for it. As the old saying goes: “don’t borrow trouble”!

Talk to Your Pediatrician 

If your kids are fearful, then it can’t hurt to give their doctor a little bit of a heads-up. Pediatricians are used to kids being scared in their office and they should know how to make the experience a little less scary. Their nursing staff should also be providing age-appropriate, high-quality care to all patients. However, a little warning will help the doctor and staff be even more mindful of how they approach the visit with your child so they can make it a positive experience. 

Choose a Comfort Object 

Some kids really appreciate being able to bring a favorite toy or blanket to their appointments for comfort. If this is something that will help your child relax and cope with their fear, absolutely let them take a comfort object along! 

During your discussions with your child before the visit, you can ask them if they’d like to bring something with them to the appointment. No doctor should mind a child bringing something in that makes them feel safer. 

Provide Distractions 

Sometimes, a little bit of age-appropriate distraction can go a long way. Playing with your kids in the waiting room or exam room, letting them watch a favorite video before the exam, or even making silly noises together can make the experience feel easier and less serious for a kid who is feeling anxious. 

Role-Play In Advance 

Children often fear the doctor because they don’t know what will happen to them. One way to help them get comfortable with medical appointments is to role-play together at home. 

Incorporating play in your appointment preparation can help kids feel more relaxed and familiar with the process of visiting the doctor. Instead of being something unknown and scary, it will be more familiar and fun. 

Validate Their Feelings

If your child is afraid of going to the doctor, it’s important to validate their feelings. Don’t tell them that they shouldn’t cry or feel afraid. Acknowledge their feelings and have a kind discussion about why it’s important to go to the doctor, even when you’re afraid. 

Telling kids they should ignore their feelings or that their feelings aren’t valid can impact their trust in you. Be a source of support and help them through the experience instead of telling them to just deal with their feelings or making them think their feelings don’t matter. 

Offer an Incentive 

There’s nothing wrong with promising your child a small treat after a doctor’s visit. It will give your kid something to look forward to and the promise of a reward might eventually make them feel great about going to the doctor!

Discuss the Visit After 

After you visit the doctor, it’s a good idea to talk about the experience and what your doctor talked about with you and your child. If they had concerns about your child’s weight or another aspect of their health, it’s important to ensure that your child doesn’t feel bad or guilty. Depending on the details of the visit, your kids might have lots of questions, and it’s important to answer them honestly, while avoiding shame or guilt. 

Be Positive 

When you talk about your child or another family member going to the doctor (including yourself!) be sure to stay positive. If you have some fear of medical appointments yourself, it’s important to be aware that your children will learn from the way you act and talk about going to the doctor. Talking about the benefits of medical care over fear-based discussions is important as a role model!