Helping Your Children Make Informed Decisions When Applying to Colleges and Selecting a Major

College is one of the biggest financial decisions your child will ever make. As a parent, you may have experience with going off to university and repaying the subsequent loans. From experience comes wisdom. You would love to give your child advice. 

Even if you did not go to college, you probably know a thing or two about personal finance. You have thoughts and opinions about how much money your child should borrow and even what career they should consider.

Something that will earn a good living. Or maybe just a job you think they really have a knack for.

Can you offer your advice in a constructive and appropriate way? That is the big question. Unfortunately many parents never quite land on the right answer.

In this article, we will take a look at how you can help guide your child without alienating them.  

ROI

Getting a good return on their investment is probably a concept that your child has not considered before. In fact, they have probably never made any investment at all before. Students are often introduced to higher education in the context of an experience that they will be having. They see college campuses on TV and in movies. 

They know people who have gone away to school and had incredible experiences. They see it on Instagram. They have an idea of the experience they want. Never do they think about the loans they will have to repay.

You can tell a child that they will have to borrow $50,000 for school but without context, you might as well be describing Monopoly money.

Try to break it down in terms they will understand. Establish a hypothetical budget. Write down the average cost of an apartment in the area that they plan on living. 

A hypothetical but realistic car payment. How much incidental expenses like emergency repair or an unexpected hospital bill could cost. You can ground the point home by showing them some of your own recent incidental charges.

Document entertainment expenses. The cost of going out for drinks with friends. The recurring costs of subscription-based entertainment.

Finally, explain how much their student loan repayments will be. Then weigh all of these costs against their expected first-year earnings. Are they able to manage the payments?

Will there be any room left over in their budget or will they be taking on debt?

Your child may not find this example completely persuasive, but it will make the realities of loans more concrete.

Weigh the Value of the Degree Itself

Once you’ve evaluated their potential future expenses, try to explain the actual value of a college degree. Most 18-year-olds have heard the vague and increasingly suspicious story that a college degree is key to a brighter future.

This is not always the case— particularly not when the student lacks a clear plan for how they will use their degree. Do they know what they want to do? Does the university that they are considering have a good program for that career path?

More to the point, does the cost of the degree make sense in view of how much they can expect to earn?

It doesn’t make sense for a teacher to borrow an exceptional amount of money for their degree knowing that they can expect to earn a very modest–though stable–salary. The same is true of people going into nursing. 

On the other hand, it may make sense for someone going into finance to consider a degree that will help them stand out in their very competitive field.

That’s what we mean by “value” in the context of a college degree. In other words, why choose this school instead of that one? Why take this loan instead of a smaller one?

For that matter, why go to a traditional physical campus at all when you could save lots of money by going to school online? Online schools offer degree programs for nurses, educators, and many other forms of employment. 

The purpose of this question is not necessarily to persuade someone into virtual learning— or out of their dream school. It is to get them to think more actively about how they are making their choices.

Considering Careers

This is a thornier consideration. Is it OK to pressure your child into a specific career? Parents have mixed feelings about this question. You can certainly mention jobs that you think your child will be good at. However, you should keep in mind that they will be living out their professional life for the next 40 to 50 years. Do you really want to encourage them to pursue a job that they aren’t enthusiastic about?

It is generally best not to put much pressure on your child when it comes to selecting a career. Offer ideas if they ask, but be supportive of whatever they choose.

It’s Ultimately Their Choice

All of this said a child’s education is just that: their degree. Their decision. Having thoughts is fine. Making demands is not.

If I am going to pay for the education, I should get a say in what they do.

It is understandable to feel that way. Ultimately, however, your name is not going to be on their degree. In fact, regardless of how much financial support you have given your child, you will never be considered the primary point of contact where the school is concerned.

Your child will thrive or fail on their own terms. You are just their support system.

Can you make your support conditional on certain degree or career requirements?

You probably could. But how will that go over? It’s important to keep in mind that college is probably the very last time that you will be the primary figure of authority in your child’s life.

In fact, given that they are now 18 or older you have no legal authority over them already. In other words, you’ve reached the point where your child has to choose to spend time with you.

Do you want to start that dynamic off with an ultimatum?

It is stressful to watch your child make choices you don’t agree with. However, for the sake of your ultimate relationship, it is important to prioritize. Do you want to be a support system for your child or someone that they only see on birthdays and holidays?

Keep in mind also that if you do maintain a good relationship with your child, they will be more likely to come to you for advice or support. This means that, in the long run, you will have more opportunities to offer guidance than you otherwise would have.

One more thing to consider: your child may actually know what is best for them. Maybe they have thought of things that you have never even heard of. Maybe they just have a better idea of what will make them happy. Regardless, the best thing you can do is offer your support in whatever form you can give it.