All relationships have their rough patches, and not every argument is going to lead to divorce. It’s important that you learn how to cope with your relationship issues healthily, and learning to recognize the problems is the first step to resolving them in positive ways.
If your marriage is going through a tough time, the question of divorce will often be one of the first things that you think of. You may even use it as a threat during a particularly bitter argument. You should, however, refrain from doing this as it will only fuel the fire and cause trust issues down the line.
For those that are wondering if their marriage is salvageable, here are some of the factors that may be worth taking into account before you start looking seriously at a divorce.
One of the major reasons for a drop in emotional connection during any relationship is down to not spending enough time together. For marriages especially, between work, family, and other commitments, it can be very difficult to make space in your diary for spending quality time together. That can lead to resentment and arguments.
If this sounds familiar, then schedule in some date nights or activities and adventures together. You might find that your problems are resolved just by spending some time getting to know each other again.
Take a Break
A divorce is very final, and if you’re not sure about ending a marriage so completely, then it might be worth just spending a little time apart. Just as not spending enough time together can cause resentment to build, so too can spending too much time together.
If you live together and work together then you’re not getting the emotional or mental freedom that you need. That doesn’t always mean that a divorce is necessary. Look at separation agreements and consider whether some time spent apart might be more beneficial for your future. That time spent away from each can help clarify your thoughts about your relationship needs.
Learn to Argue
Far too may walk away from a strong relationship just because of an argument. That’s because emotions will be high, and things may be said that aren’t meant. That’s why it’s vital that you learn how to argue in the best way.
There are a variety of skills to learn when it comes to a healthy and (most importantly) productive argument. They do not have to mean the end of a relationship, and by tackling them in a mature way, you could even end up making your marriage even stronger than ever before.
Of course, people always change over time. New friendships, workplaces, or even hobbies will all mean that there are going to be changes when it comes to priorities and attitudes. Some changes will inevitably mean the end of a relationship, but others may just mean a shift in attitude.
If your spouse has developed toxic new hobbies and interests, then you may not be interested in salvaging the relationship, especially if they seem uninterested in looking at things from your perspective. This is all about knowing what you want for your future, and learning to identify when those life changes are irreconcilable with your future plans.
Knowing what you want from the future of your marriage will go a long way to identifying the issues that you have right now. Before you start divorce proceedings, assess your emotional needs and explore your options.
It could be that some simple changes to your relationship dynamic will save you from the stress of divorce. Even if all the hard work in the world doesn’t help, you’ll at least be going into divorce proceedings knowing that you tried all that you could.