Moms are creatures of worry, but single moms can be downright agonized by the stress of balancing motherhood and life. Without a partner to lend a helping hand, single moms tend to take on more than their share of mom guilt ― the overwhelming fear that one isn’t doing enough to raise a happy and healthy child. Mom guilt is disastrous, causing untold stress in parents and children alike, and for working single moms, it can quickly destroy love.
Constantly feeling guilty for your actions will not strengthen your relationships with your kids; in fact, it will only deteriorate both your work and home lives. Instead of fretting over your need to be the perfect mom, you should accept your needs to live a life outside your family home. Whenever you feel an attack of mom guilt coming on, you should remember that you are more than a single mom: You are a complete person who deserves happiness. The following lessons should help you overcome your mom guilt whenever it strikes:
Know You Lie to Yourself
You are always your own worst judge; you will always be your own harshest critic. At times, the severe opinions you have of yourself help you to become a better person, but most often, your cruel thoughts only hold you back. Your best is good enough, and you cannot allow your insecure mind to govern your actions, especially when it comes to your kids.
Know Your Family Cares
Single moms have more struggles than most, but the pressure to appear under control often prevents them from airing their anxieties. However, no matter how fearful you are of letting others see your weaknesses, you must remember that your family cares about your well-being. You should feel comfortable asking your family (which may include close friends and neighbors) for help, which may be as minor as a night of babysitting or a significant as a compassionate ear.
Know You Can Find Love
You definitely don’t need a romantic partner to find happiness ― but companionate, passionate love certainly makes life’s struggles easier to bear. Though you might not have the time to loiter at bars and coffee shops looking for love, you can use Top10BestDatingSites to connect with people who share your core values and will help you improve in every role.
Know You Need Personal Time
You are more than a single mother: You are a worker, you are a daughter, you are a friend, and you are a woman. Though your kids do deserve quite a bit of your time, you must understand the importance of finding time for your other responsibilities ― including those that separate you from others. Personal time helps you feel relaxed and confident, making you better at fulfilling all your roles.
Know Not Every Moment Is Special
For the first few months of your little one’s life, nearly every minute brought some new magical experience: her first yawn, his first smile, her first bath, his first hiccup. However, as your kids age, the special moments become fewer and farther between. Though making memories is important, you likely won’t miss much by dropping your kids at a playdate and devoting a few weekend hours to yourself.
Know Your Work Is Important
Most moms wish they could spend more time with their kids, but as a single mom, your work is especially crucial to your home life. In fact, it is more than acceptable if you enjoy going to work. Careers provide sources of satisfaction and self-confidence that motherhood often lacks, so you should feel comfortable reveling in your job whenever you feel like it.
Know Kids Need Independence
Few moms strive to be helicopter parents ― those who never leave their children alone. In fact, many psychologists believe that such strategies are detrimental and cause developmental delays that can hurt a child for his or her lifetime. As a single mom, you have the opportunity to give your kids plenty of space to learn independence and responsibility which could make them more successful later in life.
Know You Are Lucky
You love your kids so much, you feel guilty that you aren’t doing enough to show your true emotions, and for this, you are one of the most fortunate people in the world. Millions of women wish to start their own families, but for various reasons, they cannot. Every day, amidst the stresses and struggles of being a single mom, you should cherish this gift that life has given.