It is a common reaction in cases where parents are separated for one reason or another for the person who is entitled to child support to have doubts about receiving these payments. There might be a myriad of reasons why this is so. The mother might still have a cordial relationship with the father and thus doesn’t want him to suffer any financial hardship. By contrast, the mother might not want to have anything to do with the father and, therefore, wants to forego any connection with him, even a financial one. And still other mothers just like the idea of being independent in the raising of their children.
While they all might seem like valid reasons if you, as a mother, identify with one or more of them, you are really doing your child and yourself a disservice if those or other reasons cause you to turn down the possibility of child support that might be legally owed to you. The child support laws in whatever state you may call home have been written with the utmost care and with the interest of fairness to all parties involved taking precedence over anything else. Therefore, there should not be any hesitation on your part in following through with child support proceedings if you qualify.
Your first step in the process, once you have separated from the father, is to receive expert legal advice for child support. It’s important to address the excuses mentioned above one by one to show why each one contains faulty reasoning.
Straighten Out Your Priorities
It is noble for you as a mother to look out for the father of your child and his financial concerns. But the court takes all of that into consideration when deciding the proper support to which you are entitled. By looking out for the father first, you are in essence neglecting the needs of your child, since he or she is the reason that the support is assigned in the first place.
Holding Him Responsible
You’ll hear many mothers who shun child support and say about the father in question, “I don’t want anything from him.” Just because you are receiving child support from this person does not mean that you have an obligation to be socially connected to him. And absolving him of his legal financial responsibility is only rewarding him for the misdeeds that might have alienated him from you in the first place.
You might think that you can handle the financial responsibilities of raising a child without support, and your current financial scenario might encourage you that you can. But things can change drastically, and the measure of independence you gain from shunning child support won’t feed or clothe your child should you lose your job, suffer medical problems, or deal with any other situation which drastically alters your monetary situation for the worse.
Remember that it’s important to speak to a legal professional about all of your options. Just don’t let guilt be a deciding factor in the health and welfare of you and your child.