Looking back to when I was just a child I remember wanting what my Barbies had. I know it sounds silly but they had great clothes, normally a child or two, a dog and a nice townhouse. Sometimes it was the happy life, with a wonderful husband, great kids and the white house with a picket fence. I did get the wonderful husband and great kids.
So what tips could I possibly have when it comes to a loving relationship? I am glad you asked. See I was married to the guy I meant in the 11th grade who left me when the boys were 3 and 2 weeks old. I am also the girl who married within 3 months of my divorce being finalized. You might be surprised but I just celebrated my 21st wedding anniversary with my second husband. So between the 2 marriages, I think I have a few tips that possibly would help.
- It isn’t unhealthy to disagree or fight, but fighting fair is. What do I mean by fighting fair? When you have an argument it is important to disagree on the issue at hand. Going back to an earlier issue has no business in being a part of the current fight. I know it is not easy to forgive and forget, but during a fight that has nothing to do with a previous issue is not fair.
- Communication is so important. If you can’t communicate you are going to find out having a relationship isn’t apt to work or be long lasting. You can’t expect the other person to read your mind, and if they ask you a question like “what is wrong” and you answer “I don’t know”, do not get mad when they no longer ask.
- If there are things that you do not like about the other person during the ‘dating’ phase, do not expect those things to change. This holds true for living together or getting married. You can’t ‘put up with’ the person eating with their mouth open (for instance), and then get all bent out of shape when they do it after you have taken your relationship a step further.
- It is important to set aside a date time, or together time at home even. When the relationship is new it is all exciting and again “new”. Once you have been together for a little while the ‘newness’ can wear off a bit. This is when it is especially important to put effort into your relationship. You always should be giving 100%, each of you.
- Sometimes getting away together is a wonderful experience. I know it isn’t always easy whether it is kids or work schedules. If that isn’t possible, then maybe having a nice picnic or dinner together with a favorite drink and some special treats would be a nice change. A very special treat could be the First Kisses Double Chocolate Mint Romantic Cookie Mix. Wouldn’t that be impressive to bake homemade cookies for the other person? Also chocolate supposedly is something that helps with the romance.
On a final note, I will leave you with this. Relationships are hard. They can be messy and trying at times. In saying that if the relationship is worth it, you will both learn to love one another despite your faults, and ups & downs. In our family we fix what is broken, we don’t throw it away.