There is no way to sugar coat it – getting a divorce is painful. After a lengthy period married to one person, a person that you used to love, it is time to go your separate ways. It is easy to see that the process is not going to be easy. How can it be easy? But, it doesn’t have to be as painful as lots of couples make it when the process starts.
When the process starts, people seem to lose all of their inhibitions and use the proceedings to hurt their other half. Everyone who has been through a divorce understands the feelings of hurt and anger, but that doesn’t have to be you. If you and your estranged other half would prefer, you can leave the stress, the hassle and the pain at the door. So, how do you get a divorce and make it as smooth as possible? Here are a few of our tips.
- Get Good Legal Advice
To start with, you should head to a lawyer that you know is good at their job. The advice they provide you is invaluable for the bigger picture as divorces are complex and hard to understand. Without the help of a divorce lawyer or divorce lawyers, you may have to tread the murky waters of divorce alone. And, frankly, that is one way to make sure that the process is drawn out and elongated. Any divorce lawyer worth their salt makes sure that all of the small details are taken care of without a hitch. As a result, you and your partner can concentrate on the bigger issues and don’t have to waste time on the little things.
- Disclose Your Finances
Although you are a couple, it doesn’t mean that both parties know all your financial secrets. It could be that either one of you have more money than you are willing to disclose at this time. If you do have more wealth, you should tell your lawyers and let them inform the opposing side. When you are transparent, there is more of a chance of everything running efficiently. Simply put, your partner trusts that you are telling the truth as you have told them about finances they didn’t know about beforehand. If you were looking to be sneaky, why would you tell them anything they didn’t need to know?
- Think About A Mediator
Unfortunately, not everyone is as trusting. In fact, some couples cannot even sit in the same room together, which complicates the whole process. Obviously, when this happens, it is going to take a long time to sort out an amicable divorce. But, thankfully, there is a solution – a mediator. If you and your other half struggle to speak to one another, you can hire a third party to overlook proceedings. A mediator will try and get both parties to come to a compromise or agreement that suits both parties. Yes, you may have to be in the same room, but you don’t have to speak as the mediator will speak to you individually. On the whole, they save a lot of hassle, as well as time as the process speeds along.
- Or An Arbitrator
Arbitrators are a lot like judges, so why would you use an arbitrator instead of a judge? Frankly, it all comes down to time. As you may already know, judges are hard to find. As a result, it can take months, even years, to get a divorce thanks to the convoluted judicial system. An arbitrator, on the other hand, is easily available at your earliest convenience. Okay, they do cost quite a lot of money, but they are worth the cash for the time they save. Plus, going through the courts for a divorce is likely to cost you a lot more than an arbitrator, so it is a win-win. They work by overlooking everything financial and coming to a decision that is binding, often referred to as an award. As you know that they are unbiased, you know that their final decision is probably a good one.
What some couples that go through divorce tend to do is stubbornly stick to their point of view. Of course, both parties want an agreement that is beneficial, but that means you are not going to get your way. It is important that you look at their demands and list the ones that do not bother you, and that you are willing to agree on. There is no point fighting over every small detail just for the sake of fighting. At the end of the day, you won’t have the energy to see it all the way through. And, when it comes to the inevitable stalemate, you mayl think how did it come to this?
- Be Civil
The only way for the process to go without a hitch is to set the tone from the start. If you decide to be angry and bitter, those emotions will permeate through the entire divorce. The key is to be friendly or, at least, amicable from the beginning. That way, when it comes to negotiations and custody battles, you are less likely to do something you regret because you feel a certain way. All you have to do is say ‘hi’ when you pick up the kids or ‘how was your day?’ to keep up appearances.
- Do What’s Best For The Kids
Your children are the ones that are suffering the most, so they have to come first. If you know that they are better off with your partner, you should bite the bullet. That is not to say that you should never see them again because they are your kids. But, you need to make sure they are stable and have a solid foundation when you two do split. As a result, you don’t have to go through a protracted custody battle, and you should get favorable terms with regards to visitation.
Divorce is never going to be easy, but it doesn’t have to be a war.
Family law cases where the parents simply agree to 50/50 child custody are sure to save the parents thousands in litigation fees and reduce the time of a divorce from over a year to 6 months or less -expert lawyer Craig Cherney